i may or may not be watching the land before time
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
