you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
