STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
someone owes me an orgasm
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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