This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
