apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
