I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
