that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
