nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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