We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
