you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
