id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
