Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
