i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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