dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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