we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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