i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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