I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
