Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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