did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize