it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My Sexting was not on an AP level
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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