Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
