I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
