i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the day after is always just damage control
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
