fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
