He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
