If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize