we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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