they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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