I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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