You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
