Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's shark week go big or go home
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
