She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
