Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
