I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
