If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
