can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
