I CAN MOONWALK!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
