i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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