so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
