nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
