She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
what day is it and did you see me today?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
