Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
being pregnant is like rehab
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
