He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
