I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
