u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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