4 words: hood of his car
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
