Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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