I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
