omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
