just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
