well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
