Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
