i barfeds in our rink
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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