wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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