Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
