im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just cut my nipple shaving
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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