it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
