So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
