the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
